A year and nine months into our adventures in South America, and defining home is still a challenge for me.  We love it in Chile, and are planning on sticking around a few more years, so I caught myself by surprise when I found myself reminding my toddler that San Francisco is her home.  They say “home is where the heart is,” and if this is the case our little family as several homes, in both our casita in Southern Chile as well as with dear friends and family in California, Arizona, and scattered here and there across the U.S.  As I prepare for a trip “home,” following are a few observations and musings on living as a foreigner in a new country.

My Little Girl's Little Shoes in Chile

Lately I’ve come to realize that my toddler is already smarter than me, and that the only thing to do is enroll her in preschool so that her Spanish skills can surpass my limited vocabulary and even worse pronunciation (no, it’s not really that bad, well, maybe it is, depending on when you catch me!)  Her third day in, her teacher commented to me on how quickly she had adapted.  I wasn’t surprised, as she has already lived in 3 countries, making adaption a key social skill.  People worry about travel and life internationally with babies and toddlers, and from my personal experience I’ve found that spending the first few years abroad to offer nothing but a positive for my little girl.  She is young enough that everything is still new to her, so doesn’t have any old habits to unlearn in order to fit in, and strangers often comment on how clearly she speaks Spanish and how she’s practically Chilean.  The other great thing about living internationally with a baby is that everyone loves babies, which makes it easier to meet people and make friends across cultures and languages (and easier to gain access to employee-only bathrooms when necessary!)

The things I’d thought would be easy, such as speaking Spanish, are much harder than I had thought.  Sure, it’s easy enough to speak enough Spanish, referred to as castellano, to get by, but the challenge is moving from the acceptable level towards grammatically-correct fluid castellano spoken with the local accent and understanding of chilenismos.  The more time I spend in South America, the more I start to truly understand how important language is in opening doors, as well as in putting up barriers.  Some of my favorite Santiago-based bloggers have provided a tremendous amount of help by posting about key/interesting/funny Chilean phrases, and even compiling a glossary of chilenismos (words you only hear spoken by Chileans and those living in Chile.)  Sometimes fear of saying the wrong thing holds me back, and other times perhaps it should as when I mistakenly told the director of my daughter’s preschool that my husband is a purse salesman (commerciante de bolsas) when I meant to say that he’s a day trader (corredor de bolsa) – oops!  However, this morning I actually found myself explaining to my toddler how to throw poh into a conversation, so I guess it’s all about taking baby steps…

When living in California, I often defined myself by talking about what I was not.  I was a career woman who had no domestic skills whatsoever, and went by “Jen” or “Jennifer” but nobody, but nobody called me “Jenny.”  I prided myself on my inability to cook, and claimed that Annie’s Mac and Cheese (from a box) was my best meal.  Much has changed in the past 21 months!

New Beginnings, New Currencies, New Perspectives

While still a career-woman, I’m now taking turns with my husband; when not consulting I’m supporting him while he tries to make our fortune in coffee trading.  While waiting to start my next contract, I’m a full-time stay-at-home mom, and now even take joy in learning to do things like make pasta, prepare traditional Chilean foods, prepare my daughter’s lunches, and make nut butters (it’s actually really simple, and quite tasty!)  It’s not how I envisioned my time in Patagonia, though I’m finding that it suits me.  What really surprised me, though is that yesterday someone called me “Yenny” (Spanish pronunciation of Jenny) and I didn’t correct her!  Since everyone in Chile has a nickname, it seemed only natural I should have one too.  As political correctness doesn’t exist here, I’m just happy it’s Jenny/Yenny and not the ubiquitous “gordita” (little fatty!)  While I’m not ready to start introducing myself as Jenny/Yenny, I’m now ready to start questioning some of the other “nots” incorporated into my psyche.  Wearing white after Labor Day, no problem!  Wearing uncomfortable yet fashionable high-heeled boots – hmm, well see…

While living in a foreign country can be a  bit uncomfortable at times because it feels so, well, foreign, I’ve found that with the right attitude this is also what makes it so rewarding.  I could pack up and go “home” tomorrow, wherever that might be, but much prefer to embrace the challenge of learning to adapt to the interesting, beautiful, landscape I’m discovering in the Southern tip of the world.